Some Feelings
Pretty lost these days.... has been using the computer these days churning out reports and more reports until the point that any more reports generated had lose its very meaning. Why?
I wonder if its a preparation for the next phase in life that has caused me to slow down considerably or simply because any harder work will not put me in any better position in my academics. I really hope my mentality is geared towards the former. The whole of my life has been very incentive and motive-driven and the very fact that there is something to strive for gives me the extra fuel. I dunno how long I can sustain this feeling cos totally un-motivated right now. Perhaps its the pre-Work syndrome. I hope it is...
Bei is right. I am a pessimistic person by default. When happiness and things come too soon, i will get pretty overwhelmed and scared at the same time. My motto to myself is, " I will only live in a dream, if the dream is forever." I once told bei that i got that feeling when I came out of Zhengmao's house. Its simply too good to be true... But I told myself that whatever I cannot grab hold of is not mine and thus, I will not be envious. In our lifepath, we will definitely come across people of all traits and backgrounds. If envy is the ultimate outcome in my life, I rather dun. I rather fight for happiness with my 2 bare hands and of cos, 4 with urs. Whatever I generate is mine.
There are 2 type of persons I know of. One type knows what she wants and strives for success. The other dunno what she wants and prays for success. I believe that it is important to identify your own niche. Its a process that everyone must go through and cannot be assisted by anyone. Its a own journey. Do not listen to the words of your friends cos your DNA differs from hers. Learn to identify your niche and slowly march towards it. I believe everyone will eventually find a place in the society, contributing in a way or another. Gambatte!