Friday, June 08, 2007

INfErIorItY CoMpLeX

Maybe some people dunno but i guess inferiority complex( ill call it IC) is not an illness or syndrome. Rather, i believe everyone have it in them.Its a matter of whether it is dominant anot.

I used to have serious IC when i was younger. But besides being self-demeaning at times, surprisingly IC can be a source of energy and drive. Perhaps I see it that if i duwan to be looked down, I must work hard not to be inferior.

I remember when i entered ChINESE hIGH, my raw score was 1 of the the lowest. Being the sensitive me, i began to feel inferior. Everyone ard me was like an einstein reborn( literally and physically). Worse of all, i went to join track n field,which is like drinking poison cos its damn siong. During my sec 2year, jh and me were both in track. Maybe i m being sensitive but somehow we got the feeling that our classmates think we are lousy cos we r in track. In order to prove them wrong, me and jh worked very hard and we got first and second in class! woo~ Undeniably, IC can really be motivating.

All my life, i am surrounded by angels, geniuses and capable people. Maybe as the quantities increase, the more i pale in comparison. And the more i think, the more under-accomplished i feel. I am not a person who sees a half-empty glass rather than half-filled but stimes reality is cruel and nasty. It just makes u feel down when u see everything in black and white. Sub-satisfactory results left me disillusioned, cos it came to my realization tt there is a limit to my abilities. That s saddening. Even for now, my peers are so daunting and overwhelming. stimes feel like no matter how good i am, i am not as good as them. I know my niche but i suppose they are not applicable here.

enuff of rantings. enuff of expectations.enuff of myself.